Commitment Over Feeling Can Save, Enhance Marriage
Profound changes in the institution of matrimony go far beyond the push for same-sex marriage. After many years as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Diane Medved notes a shift in marital priorities from commitment to feelings. ”Do your duty” has been replaced with “follow your heart.”
In response, my wife has written an explosive new book: DON’T DIVORCE: POWERFUL ARGUMENTS FOR SAVING AND REVITALIZING YOUR MARRIAGE. She argues that traditional pressure to maintain marriage for the sake of children and community has given way to a new cultural norm to jettison relationships at the first hint of trouble.
Saving a family doesn’t mean accepting unhappiness, but it does require determined effort to improve spousal connections. Diane urges every couple to act as if they were a happy, loving pair, enabling behavior to change feelings rather than waiting for feelings to change behavior. She writes that not all marriages can be perfect, but any marriage can be better.