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Dr. DIANE MEDVED: The Three Divorce Magnets

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Even the best marriages are subject to forces in our pro-divorce culture that exert pressure toward dissatisfaction. They’re magnets that tug spouses apart in their moments of ennui, frustration, or anger, and the inertia of their pull can ultimately propel them to a receptive “Divorce Industry” awaiting customers.

Divorce Magnet Number One: Sympathy, Not Stigma for Divorce

When wedding vows were iron-clad commitments, divorce was considered a failure, inviting responses we now deem “shaming,” followed by long-term stigma. Now it’s usually harder to get out of a business deal than a marriage. We care what other people think about our looks, our accomplishments, and our associations, crafting sterling online personae, but we worry little that we’ll be tarnished by the failure of our marriages. In fact, acknowledging that you’re “going through a divorce” wins a comforting embrace, a caring reassurance of your value, in a striking cultural flip that took just a single generation. In fact, you’ll get a lot more sympathy by splitting than by announcing that you’re working to mend your marriage. Friends assume a divorce leaves you shattered and bereft, requiring their piteous hugs, while restoring your marriage implies that you’re bold and hardy. Most people in a difficult marital moment prefer the warm embrace of sympathy, especially when the alternative is a difficult process with an angry or hurt spouse….READ THE FULL COLUMN AT  NATIONALREVIEW.COM

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