National Review Interview with Diane Medved: Resisting the Divorce Momentum
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Don’t Divorce: Powerful Arguments for Saving and Revitalizing Your Marriage is a book Diane Medved says she had to write. “Don’t divorce!” the psychologist and author writes. “Mending the marriage is good for you and for your partner. Overcoming your problems will teach you how to prevent future problems in your marriage and with others. Facing your issues rather than running from them will provide insight about yourself, your needs, and areas where you need to improve. Elevating your communication and accommodating another will immediately improve your daily existence.”
Improving daily existence sounds compelling. And so does joy, which she urges and sees the potential for, having worked with countless men and women in her practice, and having experienced the heartache of divorce and the joy of successful marriage herself. She talks a bit about it — and some of the sensitive, grueling questions it raises.
Kathryn Jean Lopez: You wrote one book warning against divorce only to be excoriated. Wouldn’t you try something else this time? Raindrops on roses or puppies — or any kind of dog (people seem to love dog books!)?
Diane Medved: Though I love dogs, I don’t really have much to offer about them, I’m afraid. I did write books on other topics since The Case against Divorce, which came out — I hesitate to reveal my age here — 24 years ago. That title is still in print and selling, and over the years I continue to receive article requests and speaking invitations on the topic. But just as marriage has changed drastically since that book, divorce has also transformed, and simply discussing the downside of divorce is no longer enough. At this point, we’re seeing the damage that parental divorce has wreaked on now-adult children, who refrain from marriage (pushing the mean age at first marriage up to 29 for men) lest they endure or cause for their children the heart-wrenching divorce experience. I started to observe the underlying changes that demolished divorce stigma and let people put their desires and emotions ahead of their commitments, and that was the clincher — it was time to broaden the discussion and revisit the topic… Read the full interview at NationalReview.com