Movie Reviews


Cast: Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins

Release Date: Fri, Mar 28, 2014

MPAA Rating: PG-13

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  1. AJ McCarrell  •  Mar 28, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    My understanding from the Book of Enoch and other sources, God partially caused the flood to kill the Nephilim. Why would they assist Noah in their own destruction????

    • Chili Boots  •  Apr 17, 2014 at 7:18 am

      They wouldn’t, and they didn’t.

  2. GoldyLocs  •  Mar 28, 2014 at 7:21 pm

    I went to see “Noah” today and wish I had walked out in the first minutes of the movie and demanded my money back! I knew the movie wouldn’t follow the Bible precisely but had no idea it would veer off entirely. First off, the fallen angles, demons consisting of Lucifer and his companions, 1/3rd of the angels in heaven, did not leave Eden in an attempt to help Adam because he was kicked out of the garden. That was a lie. Secondly, those demons did not help Noah build the ark. Thirdly, per the Bible, there is no way those demons are going to be welcomed back into heaven thus the scene in which they exploded and their spirits soared to heaven is yet another lie! Hell was originally prepared for Satan, formerly Lucifer, and those demons! Forth, per the Bible, there were 8 people on the ark which consisted of Noah and his wife along with their sons and their wives. The make up of the ark occupants in the movie was therefore incorrect. Again, I knew the movie would not follow the Bible verbatim but I had no idea it would be so very wrong. They would have done better if they had renamed the protagonist and called the movie something else entirely. Perhaps one would better enjoy it having been just a “Hollywierd” movie as opposed to it being an attempt at a Biblical movie. I found myself practically falling asleep on the movie at least three times. It was boring. I expected a lot more “movie magic” with the water scenes. My rating for this movie is: No star. Save your money. Read the Bible and learn the real story.

    • nicholas  •  Mar 28, 2014 at 7:26 pm


      i love you

    • Mary  •  Apr 8, 2014 at 10:24 pm

      GoldyLocs – you said it! I heard “In the beginning was…..nothing” and that should have been my cue to walk out. I was holding out for the visual impact of the ark and the animals. They were, as Michael said, the best part. But not worth putting up with the rest of the movie. Transformers helped Noah and he almost sacrificed his grandchildren? And a stowaway to boot… Fortunately we had a bargain matinee – not worth even renting!

      Too bad for the talented cast.

      • Chili Boots  •  Apr 17, 2014 at 7:24 am

        Agreed; the logical absurdity that “In the Beginning, there was nothing”, coupled with the Big Bang Theory, supposes that “nothing” then exploded, somehow. The only things that
        this film has in common with the Bible are a few names, and a lot of water. It is a fallacy.

  3. nicholas  •  Mar 28, 2014 at 7:24 pm

    i wish hollywood werent the jackasses that they consistently tend to be.

    why cant SOMEONE, ANYONE, just tell the story as close as movie possible, according to the way the story is in the BIBLE?
    why not?

    • GoldyLocs  •  Mar 29, 2014 at 8:17 pm

      Thank you nicholas. I love you with the love our Lord!

      • Enlightened  •  May 18, 2014 at 11:58 am

        You people are creepy.

  4. annie  •  Mar 28, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    Can you imagine how the Lefties would like it if some Conservative filmmaker took such license with one of their beloved heroes/stories (I dunno, Che or Harvey Milk come to mind)?? Yet they feel no hesitation whatsoever to take, not just any story, but a Biblical story, and change the bejeebers out of it. I really dislike those guys.

    • MythBuster  •  Apr 1, 2014 at 7:42 pm

      First of all, mist lefties are Christian, second the right wing mivie “God is not Dead” insulted just about every democratic interest group out there. So put on your big girl panties and suck it up.

      Actually the movie list me with the stone people. If that is actually in the bible it is proof enough that the while book is a crock.

      • Scott  •  Apr 5, 2014 at 8:35 am

        MythBuster, the telling phrase in your response is, “if that is actually in the bible it is proof enough that the while (sic) book is a crock.” You, and others don’t know what is in the bible and you take a movie like this at face value. You take it as proof the bible is a crock. Others who don’t know the bible take it as actually being what the bible says. The movie is “a crock” and either way the unlearned take it, it is a great tool for those “fallen angels” to spread their lies.

      • NDS  •  Apr 10, 2014 at 7:19 pm

        If you don’t know that the “stone people” aren’t in the Bible, that is proof enough that you haven’t read it very well, if at all, and are not in a very good position to pass judgement upon it.

  5. Taigen  •  Mar 29, 2014 at 8:22 am

    I feel like I just entered Bizarro World. Yes is no, flowers are weeds, ugliness is beauty, well you get the picture. Welcome to Bizarro Ark. I’m all for artistic license and all but the only thing I saw close to the biblical account was the ark. This was like doing interpretive dance to a square dance ho-down.

    How was Noah looney tunes? Let me count the ways:

    Although they didn’t mention the mother earth goddess Gaia, they might as well have. Saving the planet from the ravages of mankind was what needed to be judged, not sin. Yes, they portrayed evil but it was the result of God giving man dominion over the earth and the beast of the field. So eating meat was part of the blood lust that was perpetuated.

    Turning the story of the flood into a mystical premonition than God telling Noah straight forward that the world was going to be judged. No, God communicates through visions of Noah being under water. If they wanted to make some mystical story of the flood, why use the biblical account? Cuckoo.

    Ham wasn’t allowed to get a wife. Huh? Where’s that verse. Noah, being possessed with zero population growth goes homicidal, at least in his thoughts. Missed that verse too.

    It was a good thing that Noah befriended the rock people who helped him build the ark in record time. Again, missed those verses.

    In the meantime Methuselah, his grandfather, drugs Noah with some home brew he called tea resulting in Noah going on a mind trip once again. Methuselah, however, was more interested in berries since they were such a hard to get commodity. Methuselah did find one berry just as a wall of water enveloped him. He was a happy man.

    When Noah looks out at the barren landscape, it looks like he is stepping in oil. And you thought fracking was a recent phenomenon. But there weren’t any trees to build the ark. Good thing for magic. They grew out of an underground spring and within minutes, they had a forest.

    This was a profound disappointment and disingenuous.

    • Michael  •  Mar 30, 2014 at 10:41 pm

      Yep. It was a classic bait-n-switch. Had I seen those Rock-Angel Transformer-like creatures in the trailer, I would have laughed at anyone who planned to see the movie.

      Well, the last laugh was on me. :,-(

  6. Frank Cooper  •  Mar 29, 2014 at 10:04 am

    Noah, rocked our world, literally

    My wife and I went to see the film when the theater was shaken by the 5.1 LaHabra earthquake. It was surreal to be shaken by how the film Noah was being depicted and then experiencing the theater being rocked like a boat. We definitely got out money’s worth in terms of sensurround.

    • Gary  •  Mar 30, 2014 at 2:10 am

      Frank, that was no coincidence. That was a wake-up call.

  7. Jack  •  Mar 29, 2014 at 10:17 am

    I will admit that if this movie was just another take on a common fairy tale, it would be an interesting, albeit dark, story, and well done.
    However, it claims to be based on a Bible story and the movie twists that story beyond to the point where it is not just inaccurate, but it is offensive to those who believe the Bible.

    Noah is not portrayed as any kind of hero, but rather he is a psychotic violent judgmental man who doesn’t have enough courage to act out his convictions. The portrayal brings to mind the Hollywood view of a religious cult leader. His wife and adopted daughter are the heroes of the movie.
    Meanwhile “the creator” is bringing judgment not so much because of man’s sin and violence to one another as for the environmental destruction he has brought.
    And the so-called “miracles” are more a matter of magic performed by a witch doctor than miracles of God.
    Another post has already dealt with the Watchers so I won’t repeat it except to agree that this aspect was also an offensive distortion.

    The real story of Noah is one of mercy, despite the destruction. Man has reached the point where his violence against his fellow man and his selfish sin demands judgment. But God sees there is one good man in Noah and He uses Noah to redeem his people just as He will do over a thousand years after this on Good Friday.

  8. skamal  •  Mar 30, 2014 at 12:35 am

    very true.its not biblical atall.its a contrary to every part of the scripture.the people in the arc according to bible are 8. and bible has no mention of tubal cain who was a descendent of cain.the watchers are not angels of God Almighty to help noah. Noah being chhosen by God cannot take help from watchers which are fallen angels who had sexual relations with the women of earth and produced giants on earth.In order to destroy that wicked race God decides to bring upon the earth The Flood.This is what the Bible says.but in the movie, noah is helped by the watchers the very ones God wants to put an end to.This movie should have been given the name cain and watchers instead of noah.its a devastating misrepresentation of the bible.Noah was portrayed as a villan God was portrayed as merciless and man or tubalcain was portrayed as an authority to decide aganist God’s lack of mercy to live according to ones own will and coupled with quoting God’s word.This movie doesnot glorify the Word or the work of God according to bible.its a waste of time and money.

  9. Rodney S.  •  Mar 30, 2014 at 2:55 am

    What a sham!

    This Noah movie is the worst biblical movie I have ever seen. I should have known it was going to be downhill when rock figures that looked like Transformers showed up. Who knew there were Transformers in the Old Testament?? Plus, why are there parts where Noah and his wife are wearing blue jeans? I’m certain denim came much later. Also, why is there a dinosaur-like dog creature in the beginning of the film? Why did Noah’s wife use a magical EPT pregnancy test? When did the bible mention a stow-away on the ark?

    If they were going to just make stuff up, Noah should have build an airplane instead of an ark and flew to the moon. I have never been to a movie where a steady stream of people simply walked out…as I should have done.

    Anyone who is not familiar with the Bible would NO way be drawn to the Word after seeing this film. In the same way that the musical the Book of Mormon was a way to poke fun at what Mormons believe, this Noah movie is a way for non-believers to feel self-satisfied and justified in their non-belief given the movie’s seamless overlap between sci-fi and scripture.

    I give this movie -5 stars (yes, negative!) because it did absolutely nothing to confirm the spirituality of the Scriptures…

  10. Michael  •  Mar 30, 2014 at 10:38 pm

    This was the WORST movie I’ve seen in as long as I can remember. And I was sooooo fired up to see it. Well, I almost left after the first 30-minutes of the Transformer-like Rock-Angels fighting against humans. What the heck was THAT!!!??? (smh)
    Anyway, I’m very surprised that Michael Medved has given this a positive review simply because it was stupid and really not that well made. Put the crazy bizarre story-line aside, the movie was just goofy and long. The special effects were okay. The acting… meh. The story-line? Someone was dropping acid when they wrote this screenplay.

  11. Alondra  •  Mar 31, 2014 at 1:59 am

    SIIIIGH well I really wished I’d never seen this movie, I’m sorry Mr. Director…but I am very disappointed. I mean I was so fired up to watch this movie because I had just finished watching Son of God which may I say was VERY good, and the movie coming up Heaven is for Real fired me up even more. I was thinking “Wow! Three bible stories! And I bet they’ll all be as good as Son of God!” But… My hopes are shattered. Noah really made me want to cry in a corner. I want to see Heaven is for Real because I was as fired up as I wanted to see Noah, but… What if I get the same result? SIIIIGH!

  12. Big Daddy Don  •  Mar 31, 2014 at 3:22 am

    When I got up in the middle of the movie to use the restroom I saw more than a couple people sleeping.

  13. afraid of hollywoods army  •  Apr 1, 2014 at 5:38 am

    Similar to accidently seeing porn online and wishing you could get it out of your head. But its too late! Its burned in there. I took interpretive lit. in college yet this movie left me confused. Plus some guy kept doing the Belushi bs cough. Emma Watson’s childbirth scene was convincing however and perhaps the only bright spot in an otherwise demented flick save for the very end when the family reunites on land.

  14. ladydutch  •  Apr 1, 2014 at 9:23 pm

    My husband(a youth minister) and I actually enjoyed the movie. But unlike ya”ll we didn’t expect it to be that close to the bible. We do wish we had waited for it to come out on DVD, and hadn’t spent so much money going to see it(LOL). My feelings to ya’ll is your expectations we’re too high.

    • NDS  •  Apr 10, 2014 at 7:29 pm

      Expectations too high? What about the movie was its redeeming quality?

  15. Linda Johnson  •  Apr 1, 2014 at 11:02 pm

    I am very disappointed that Michael Medved recommended this movie. I don’t go to many movies any more except to support PG movies, because most movies I do not consider appropriate for my entertainment. I had heard about the controversy over the movie but decided I would go to support a Biblical movie, after Michael recommended it. I have always greatly respected his opinions and found them similar to mine, but no more. Anyone who would say that movie portrayed the God that I know, doesn’t know the same God. I feel dirty that I supported that movie.

  16. KerryO  •  Apr 7, 2014 at 7:46 pm

    This movie makes “Evan Almighty” start to look pretty good, huh?

  17. Susie  •  Apr 7, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    I wrestled with the idea of whether to go see this film or not. The scathing criticism of Darren Aronofsky’s attempt to tell a profound biblical story from an atheist point of view–which included “no mention of God”, an extreme enviro-nazi message, and general twisting of the original story, were almost enough to make me not want to go. However, I decided to well, decide for myself. So my heart and mind were thoroughly prepared to be trounced on. But that did not happen. I will say, to preface, that yes, the story Aronofsky told was not true to the Genesis account. (and as one conservatitve commentator put it last week, if he had stayed true to the exact story, we’d have a 10 minute cartoon–or something like that)

    I felt God opened my heart to tell HIS message to me through this movie. I saw a man who walked with his Creator and stayed true to Him, even when it seemed terrible. I saw a husband and wife who stayed the course through all kinds of hardship and tragedy. I saw a strong woman in “Mother” played by Jennifer Connelly, who loved her sons, adopted daughter, and husband, as well as her Creator. I saw the love that developed between Shem and Ela(played by Emma Watson who was wonderful) and their fight for their lives as well as their daughters. I also saw a man, who believed he was doing what his Creator asked him to do and when he showed Him that he was willing to sacrifice his granddaughters, HE poured love into Noah’s heart and spared them. This type of faith was also held by Abraham–when he went to sacrifice his son and then was spared. Put yourself in Noah’s spot for just a second…can you imagine what he had to be going through? He showed his humanity in the face of destruction, but God’s grace saved both him AND his granddaughters. I also saw the depravity of humanity and WHY God chose to start all over again. I saw the fulfillment of HIS promise to Noah to take all that was innocent and start fresh. While the insertion of the rock people was not correct, I also saw the redemption of those fallen beings. Isn’t redemption part of God’s love for us?

    I was moved beyond words, quite frankly. And not because I was offended at the rewriting of the story, but because God allowed me to see what was right with the movie. The criticism of Adam not calling him God is quite frankly a personal choice on Aronofsky’s part. But why is it important that Adam call him God? After all, HE is our Creator, is He not? He certainly is mine. And how many other names is He called in the Bible? Many. Would the same criticism be so loud if Aronofsky had chosen Father, instead? Sometimes, HE works through others in the most unconventional manner–including those who don’t believe in Him at all. And while I do see all that was wrong with the story that Aronofsky told, I also saw all that was right. And most importantly, it served to confirm MY love and faith in Him.

    • Sherry  •  Apr 10, 2014 at 11:31 pm

      Right on Susie! No it wasn’t biblical, but both Christians and Non-Christians are talking about what’s in God’s Word. God works in mysterious ways! Hallelujah and Amen!

      • kick  •  Apr 11, 2014 at 6:25 am

        Jesus is the Word of God. There is only one Word of God.

        Jesus never told anyone to worship the Bible instead of God or to pray to Mary as their Savior.

        Bible worshipers and Mary worshipers are idolaters and equally deluded.

  18. NDS  •  Apr 10, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    I am pleased that you found it spiritually bolstering, but many of the pluses you cite in the movie have been parts of many non-biblically based movies. To rewrite the biblical “script” to the point that one sees very little “Bible” in it, hardly makes it a biblical movie.
    I went to support the production of more biblically-based movies that support the values of the Bible. I was profoundly disappointed.

  19. kick  •  Apr 11, 2014 at 6:18 am

    My question is why did the film maker go to all the trouble and expense to make a movie about an allegory and then make this particular movie?

    It isn’t the same story as recorded in Genesis about Noah. And as entertainment it isn’t entertaining.

    Why invent giant fallen rock angels to work as living scaffolds and cranes, invent an army of raging woman haters, then change the story to exclude Noah’s sons wives?

    An allegory of an allegory? It didn’t work. I keep asking myself why bother? I kept wishing the film would go and end some other way. It never did.

    The only interesting bit is that Noah (played by Crowe) has a wife who was the played by the same actress who portrayed exactly the same co-dependent enabler as she played in their previous film together “A Beautiful Mind.” And I mean exactly.

    “Noah” and “A Beautiful Mind” together is really one story of two dysfunctional people continued in two separate false realities. It’s the only part that worked.

    If you are reading this to decide whether or not to see “Noah,” I say don’t bother. You’ll be very sorry if you do.

  20. Greg Fazzari  •  Apr 11, 2014 at 7:26 pm

    Huh! I thought the film was quite good. Basically true to the scriptures with some artistic license. Very thought provoking – I was pleasantly surprised.

  21. Jim Caulfield  •  Apr 14, 2014 at 10:35 am

    Worst movie I have seen in two decades or more.
    Insane cross between Transformers, the fallen angels, where did that come from?, and Harry Potter, magic firestones?, and weird lack of authenticity, bad King and his troops wearing welding helmets complete with darkened glass and using large corrugated sheet metal as shields, a large metal fireplace in the ark; and SPOILER ALERT, Noah wants to kill off the human race!?

  22. Cristian P.  •  Apr 22, 2014 at 1:41 pm

    When you see any film that states it’s “based on” something, you do realize that that means they have taken something and made it their own, right? Knowing Aronofsky, I expected this movie to not follow the Biblical story. But just because it was not exactly the same as the Biblical version does not mean this film was bad. The adaptation was bad, the film was well done. The imagery, sound, and acting was phenomenal, especially Jennifer Connelly. And though the film strayed away from the actual story, the message was still very powerful. Not all of life was destroyed because God (the Creator) knew Noah would guide us to righteousness. Darren Aronofsky is still a great director, but I do believe if you’re going to adapt a Biblical story, you should be prepared to hear criticism not about the movie, but about the adaptation which is happening in these comments. Thus, let movies like this be an inspiration to Christian viewers to strive to make Biblical adaptations very similar to the story and actually a well done movie. I hate watching movies such as “Facing the Giants,” “To Save a Life,” and “God’s Not Dead” that have a great message but are films done so poorly and have (I’m sorry to say) mediocre acting that overall the audience is not impacted by it.

  23. Enlightened  •  May 18, 2014 at 12:04 pm

    This was a wonderful movie with a wonderful message about human compassion. That you all missed it to freak-out about “rock monsters” is indicative of your small-mindedness. Even Michael Medved recognized the film was great visually and thematically, but felt OBLIGATED to mark it down to 2 ½ stars so he wouldn’t go to hell or be burned at the stake. The given rationalization? The movie doesn’t follow the short, bland, illogical, awful story he learned and mostly forgot in Sunday school.

    You should all be ashamed.

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